Man oh man

Am I tired.

And that is all.

Memories...like the corners of my miiiind...

I was inspired by my status shuffle quote on fb today:

"People cherish memories because memories are the only things that don't change when everyone else does".

Sometimes we can't help but be entranced by the memories we have stored up in our cranium. We always seem to want to focus on the good and not the bad, get lost in memories of old when we were the most happy.

But bad memories can be helpful in their own right. You learn from the encounters you face, the obstacles you overcome, the life lessons you learn from having gone through unpleasant encounters in your lifetime. The trick is, not to focus/dwell on your memories to the point where you are not living in the here and now...it IS tempting to let your old thoughts recycle through your head and base your current encounters with people/situations instead of just learning the lesson you were meant to and learning how to make the new encounters you face easier to deal with.

I think most people wish they could travel back through time and give themselves a good beating in regards to the mistakes they made, but we learn nothing if we don't screw up...and we wouldn't be the people we are now if we didn't go through the hard times. But...as much as you may try to make good out of a bad situation, there are times when we wish we could freeze time and live in that moment where we were happy...and there's nothing wrong with visiting the past to enjoy those moments once more...but to hope that things will always be the same, or hold resentment that things cannot stay the same will just wind up making you batshit crazy.

Live in the now! Embrace your future...and enjoy the happy moments of yesteryear, but do your best to make good memories now instead of living in the past.

People can be so strange.

Granted I'm a bit of an odd duck from what others have told me. I've been told I'm weird or a dork or too kind...and that I should strive to be something I'm not in order for things to be easier.

Why do so many feel that if you do not fit the norm, that you should strive to fit in like the rest? Ok I understand that we all have room to improve, but I refuse to change my morals/opinions of things based on the fact that other people deem me strange for sticking to my guns on things that I think matter.

I do, however, think that there are people who should strive for success and stop bitching about how unfair things are. Life IS unfair, and until you accept that, you will continue to be miserable. That's not to say that people do not have the right to complain...we all need to vent, it's unhealthy to store it all in...but to constantly dwell on what cannot be changed is just a waste of time in the long run. Life can be a struggle, but it's so gratifying when, no matter what comes your way, you take it with a grain of salt and continue on and make the appropriate changes in order for you to be happy. But to change completely just to please someone else is foolish...just focus on what makes you happy and be considerate of others and happiness will soon follow.

Ah...they grow so fast.

I can't believe my baby is almost 4 months! Eep! C'mon lil one, can't you stay little for a little while longer??

*sighs*

I look at my girls and I am in awe at how much they've grown/how their personalities have developed. It's astounding sometimes. Although I do enjoy the baby stages with all of them, watching my baby get big so quickly is both extremely gratifying and saddening, because I see how quickly my girls have grown and become their own person and I know that soon the relationship between my lil man and I will change...and he won't want to cuddle as much, he'll want to run and roar and be hyper and will probably only come to me when he needs a boo boo kissed lol.

If only we could freeze time for a moment eh? Sadly we cannot, so that's why I do my hardest to enjoy every moment with my children, be there for them, nuture them and pay attention to them...because, sure, I may not have a lot of alone time now, but soon they'll all be living their own life away from me and I'll have all the alone time I want....by then, I won't want it.

And the lil one wants me, so awaaaay I go!

This time of year...

Is always financially stressful.

We just celebrated Christmas and my youngest daughter's bday a month before that, and now it's my eldest daughter's birthday on the first of Feb.

So now we're pinching pennies and trying to stretch our dollars as far as they will go. Most people who have kids have their birthdays spaced out, but my kids birthdays as well as Christmas are so close together that we are always hurting around this time of year.

Not looking for sympathy, just needed to release some of the stress I have bottled up.

*sighs*

I so need a good night out.

Granted it will be quite awhile before I get the chance to....but it's starting to get to me a little bit.

Now that's not to say I don't enjoy spending time with my sweet lil guy or my daughters, I really do, especially since the girls are coming home tomorrow after visiting withtheir father since the 21st...but I guess I miss the little things...being able to play a game of cards...or going to a movie...and due to the ever constant demands of the baby, my and my bf's love life is random at best.

I guess I'm feeling sorry for myself. I don't mean to...and I feel horrid for even complaining...but still, I can't help how I feel. I don't feel resentment or anger or anything remotely close...I just...I just want to have a bit of fun, that's all.

I guess I have baby blues :C

Christmas is soon upon us!

...And I have to wait until the 20th to do shopping!

....heaven help me -__-

I dislike having to deal with the rude people around Christmas time.......you know the one's...they ram into you then suck their teeth at you for not getting out of their way...or the one's who destroy the products but feel justified in doing so cause they wanted to make sure the merchandise worked/fit/etc. Even worse are the hagglers, who have a right bitch fit if they can't get their product for cheap.

Sooo although I do enjoy Christmas *which is new for me considering for a good while I had a major chip on my shoulder and was a grinch pretty much, with the exception of enjoying the girls open their goodies on Christmas day* I DESPISE the utter batd behaviour that comes with it. I'm just thankful that as packed as the mall can get, it's NOTHING like Black Friday...I saw some of the video's on youtube and it's bloody ridiculous...sure we all like a deal, but apparently last year in the States a person DIED....and this year some crazy ol' bat of a woman decided it was in her best interest to bring along PEPPER SPRAY in order to get as much as she could without having to contend with the other shoppers....that's all sorts of messed up :/.

SO in order to prepare, I am browsing online at what's out there...and writing a list so I know EXACTLY what I'm searching for, it will make my time in the mall significantly smaller...which is awesome considering I'm claustrophobic and being around a lot of people for long reallllllllllllllly gets to me after awhile...I'm definitely one of those in then out shoppers....I get what I want, then get the hell out! lol

let's see...what else is going on...ah yes...I have been exercising lately, trying my best to shed the weight before my sister in law's upcoming wedding in May...but instead of writing it here, I have my diet journal, so if yer dieting and find enjoyment /reassurance/encouragement by reading people's journal entries while they over come the battle of the bulge, then please feel free and check out my journal! :D

http://fightingthechub.blogspot.com/

Oh..and yes I WILL  be changing the layout here...gotta find a decent christmas layout so I'll be on the lookout in the next few days :3

Alllllrighty, time to write in the other journal then call a good friend of mine. Ciao everyone! <3