Needing an outlet.

Hey there. Hey. Hey man, hey. Hey. HEY!

Yeah, I suck...I know I know, I keep on hoppin' back and forth from here to livejournal account...but atm I'm having a brain fart and for the life of me I can't remember my lj password...and since the email I used to create it is no longer working...I can't get my password...&@*^#@%&*^#%(! fml. Ah well! I think there's even part of an entry saved that is silently screaming at me to complete it...bleh, my chaotic grey matter will eventually remember it...not a big deal I know.

So ANYWAY...a lot has been going on with me this past while...my other half took a maintenance course and now he and I are currently looking for employment being superintendents :D. We have already had a few interviews and for awhile it seemed like we weren't going to have any luck :c. But... lady luck decided to grin our way and we had a successful interview and apparently we made such a good impression, the administrator has set up another appointment for us to sign contracts :O Huzzah! So we are supposed to be meeting up with the owner sometime this week...can't friggin' wait!

But with good comes bad...that's the way life is. Although I have been DREAMING of moving for ages...my girlies are having a bit of difficulty with the transition, which is understandable considering we've been living in this place *on and off* for 10 years...and although I am still haunted by the things that took place eons ago...the girls don't really have any bad associations with this house like I do...plus they look past all the things that are wrong with this place...to them, this is the only real home they've had. So...being the sensitive lass that I am, I make sure to take the time to let them discuss all the feelings they're having...to let them know that yes, it will be a big change, but it will be a change for the better once they see how our quality of life improves. Also, my mom is struggling a bit with the change...her and I have always had a close bond, and I WILL miss her terribly once reality sets in and I realize how far apart we are *we're not moving too far away but it will be a bit of a distance* but now that I'm older, I really need for her to let go...to let me venture off...to live my own life without any added direction from her. That's not to say I will never listen to her advice again...she has many pearls of wisdom to offer and I'm always thankful when she shares her life experiences...but now I need to experience life without being overprotected...I'm no longer a teenager and I feel that if we don't move, things between us may become more strained, due to how differently we think at times. Distance, although hard to deal with, does make the heart grow fonder.

I suppose the only other thing that's really messing with my head, other than the passing of 3 beloved family pets D': .... is leaving my friends behind. Granted, a few of them (NOT talking about the awesome friends we have who have been supportive and have taken the time to visit and not demand us do stuff for them) have shown to me that unless I have alcohol or something to give them, that I'm not worth their time anymore...but I don't need people like that in my life...I need genuine friends worth getting to know, who like to do things OTHER than being shit faced throughout the week or every weekend...that shit gets old, and I'm not a young pup anymore, I've only got 5 years until I'm 40 for pete's sake...why in the hell do I want to keep pretending I'm young by living a lifestyle that is no longer best suited for me? Love to have a few drinks now and then...love to go dancing and be silly...not a prude in the least, but all good things in moderation y'know? Hopefully I'll encounter some like minded individuals when we move...eventually...'cause I know full well, that for the first bit...my hubby and I are going to be lonely...but he made a very good point... we get ignored by most already unless we have something to give them...so us moving isn't really making that much of a difference. Maybe they'll realize we were good people once we're away and can't cater to their every whim, who knows. A lil too late though, I'm afraid.

Well my youngest daughter has a painfully sore throat...may be strep, so I'm about to head off to the doctors to see if we can get her all fixed up and back to normal. Have a good day' ya'll!