*takes out harmonica and plays soulfully*

*sings* I've got the blues....mmhmm.... *gives the harmonica a blow*

*sings* Feelin' lower than I should, mmhmm.... *harmonica blowin' commences again*

*bellows* Too much on my brain....as I look out the window at the rain...my thoughts and feelings are driving me insane...! I got those shut off my brain cause I can't take anymore bluesssss *snazzy harmonica finish*

*sighs and gives head a shake* Sometimes being lost in thought is a painful process.

Can`t really think straight these days, TOO many things are bothering me...so they all become fused into one thought process and I wind up not getting any relief/satisfaction from the "oh it'll be ok/it's almost over" comments people tend to give me time and time and TIME again. To think that all of my depressive thoughts are based SOLEY on being pregnant and therefore should be dismissed, or worse, given the "there there *pat pat*" treatment is laughable and a tad presumptuous....we all know what happens when one assumes, right? Right.

REPEATING REDUNDANT COMMENTS IS REDUNDANT.

Just sayin'.

Yes I am aware people mean well and I really do appreciate someone trying to soothe me...but many lack the initiative to put actual thought behind their words, they say whatever is convenient in hopes that that will do. Reguritated cliche's and all that rot.

But generalized statements don't help...they just aggravate. In fact, when I hear the same verbose comments being spouted forth, I feel like the person who says it could really give two shits about how I'm truly feeling, they just want to shut me up with a convenient line. Y'know...such is the case when someone asks you "So how are you doing?" and you, delighted that they asked, actually start to tell them...but soon you see the expression in their eyes as they stare you down as you are explaining how you're feeling/what's been going on with you lately...and you wind up cutting your answer short, because you then sadly realize that what they really wanted was a short retort, they could care LESS how you're feeling, they just want you to state "oh I'm fine, you?" so they can talk about themselves.

Fuck.
That.
Noise.

When I ask someone how they're feeling, I truly WANT to know, especially towards people who harbour their pain inwardly and rarely speak about how they're doing emotionally/mentally...everyone deserves to be listened to, but most are silenced by those who dismiss them or they go unnoticed due to the people who broadcast their problems regularly. People who assume that because I'm hormonal that I lack logic or can't see a spade for a spade amuse me...not a 'oh isn't that delightful' but more of a 'ahhh...is that so." sort of way.

I may not spout off at the mouth towards things that displease me on the reg like some may do...but it's foolish to assume that I don't keep a mental tally of how others have let me down when I was there for them without heisitation.

I remember things that most people forget...which definitely comes handy further down the line.

It's always the quiet ones you need to worry about. It really is...for we're always thinking/analyzing.