My own interpretation of spirituality

Whoa...heavey subject to converse about eh? Yeah I know...I'm prone to random reflection at times...comes with having an overactive mind hehe.

I was raised Catholic due to my father's beliefs. I went to catholic schools and did my best to be a good catholic school girl...but I never quite fit in with the mainstream ideology that comes with being catholic.

Many a time I would debate with my religion teacher in highschool *who was a nun* and I'd often find myself in trouble for daring to question things about my religion. Basically I was informed that I shouldn't dare question things...just blindly accept and follow their teachings...and being an opinionated and inquisitive lass from an early age...I resented not being able to converse freely about religion. The only class I actually enjoyed in highschool that revolved around religion was WORLD religion..and I found it fascinating...all the other cultures, the other paths that people took in order to be one with a higher power...it was so refreshing...but I had religion and world religion classes one after another...and found that I barely passed religion class but got high 80's in world religion...mostly due to the fact that my world religion teacher was open to discussion whereas my basic religion class teacher shunned me for 'making her job more difficult than it needed to be". I thought a teacher's job was to educate and open one's mind with information, not bitch at their students because of their ability to think outside the box.

So after I graduated highschool I took the rebel route and proclaimed myself as being atheist for awhile...moreso to piss off people who I deemed fanatical about religion. I would grind my teeth at formulated opions about religion and how I was doomed to live hell on earth if I didn't convert. I'd have many a religious person knock on my door, shoving pamphlets in my face while grinning broadly...and it seemed no matter how respectful and polite I was in telling them that I did not care for their teachings, I would be continuously hounded by them until I told them to bloody well eff off. In hindsight I wish I hadn't been so quick to aggitation and explained myself/my philosophy on things instead of telling them to leave me the heck alone.

These days...I find myself more of an agnostic than an atheist...there are many things in this world that defy explanation, miracles and such...and part of me just can't sum up a miracle as 'sheer dumb luck'. While browsing Wikipedia *ah...good ol wikipedia* I found a few snippets that I believe explains my outtake on all things religious/spiritual:

"Religion implies a particular faith tradition that includes acceptance of a metaphysical or supernatural reality, whereas spirituality is not necessarily bound to any particular religious tradition. Those who speak of spirituality outside of religion often define themselves as "spiritual but not religious" and generally believe in the existence of many different "spiritual paths" - emphasizing the importance of finding one's own individual path to spirituality.

Spirituality is seen as a path toward one or more of the following: a higher state of awareness, perfection of one's own being, wisdom, or communion with God or with creation. Spirituality aims both at inner growth and outward manifestations of this growth. Love and/or compassion are often described as the mainstay of spiritual development.

Though physical and biological scientists today avoid supernatural explanations to describe reality (see naturalism), many scientists continue to consider science and spirituality to be complementary, not contradictory"

All I've ever wanted was to expand my horizons and evolve through love and compassion...and although I may not be the textbook definition of religious, I too find myself being mocked for my beliefs by people who feel that I am only prolonging the inevitable, that I should just conform to their ideals of what should be and proceed to heavily persuade my peers into believing what I have told to believe.

That will never fly with me. I respect people's right to live their lives the way they choose to as LONG as it is respectful towards others...meaning no forceful hatred or harm inflicted upon others...and with so many groups of people using religious scriptures to validate their hate crimes upon people who are different (gay people, people who do not follow the majority's religious path and therefore beat them into submission)...I don't think I'll ever become a TRUE catholic...but I don't mind...for I believe in equality, respect and compassion towards all, not just fellow catholics.