My gawd...

How time has flown :o My lil one will be 9 months on the 16th...why must time fly by so quickly? D:

And what do I have to shown for all this time that has lapsed by? Nothing really new/interesting to report...just been busy being a housewife and mother pretty much.

Yes, my life is a tad dull atm...and not even chocolate chip pancakes and an awesome cup of java seems to be cheering me up...perhaps the nasty wet weather outside is contributing to my ho hum attitude, who knows. I'm thinking it's a collection of many stressful situations...we owe money, we need to do some significant reorganizing and clearing away of crap we dont need, the lil one refuses to be weaned off the ol' boob, and being cooped up in the house is driving me to the brink of madness, madness I tell you!!

*takes a deep breath and regains her composure*

The only ray of sunshine through the gloom is that my bf has employment, but sadly its for a short period of time plus the pay is inconsistent :/ Plus I miss him while he's gone as does the girls and the baby...I'm STILL trying to find legit work from home but so far have been given the run around...will things ever pick up??

I really fucking hope so :/

Have you ever felt giddy? :o

Y'know....euphoric? Whether it was due to winning money or having a day filled with good luck or getting that job or whatever?

Well I'm the type of person who gets happy/giddy when I see someone else happy, and in turn I then want to strive to be happy all the time. Granted, I know that I can't ALWAYS be happy, cause well, shit happens, but that doesn't mean I can't actively try to find my inner happiness or to do things that make me feel good about myself in general.

And Today, I found my inner glee! :D

I wrote about it in my dieting blog---> http://fightingthechub.blogspot.com/2012/01/holy-crap-o.html and I'm super stoked and anxious to get back into the swing of things and shed some more of my chub that has acumulated slowly since Christmas came upon us.

I have been feeling really positive as of late, and I think that as long as I stick to my plans I will continue to feel happy...and that's ultimately what I've always wanted :')

Man oh man

Am I tired.

And that is all.

Memories...like the corners of my miiiind...

I was inspired by my status shuffle quote on fb today:

"People cherish memories because memories are the only things that don't change when everyone else does".

Sometimes we can't help but be entranced by the memories we have stored up in our cranium. We always seem to want to focus on the good and not the bad, get lost in memories of old when we were the most happy.

But bad memories can be helpful in their own right. You learn from the encounters you face, the obstacles you overcome, the life lessons you learn from having gone through unpleasant encounters in your lifetime. The trick is, not to focus/dwell on your memories to the point where you are not living in the here and now...it IS tempting to let your old thoughts recycle through your head and base your current encounters with people/situations instead of just learning the lesson you were meant to and learning how to make the new encounters you face easier to deal with.

I think most people wish they could travel back through time and give themselves a good beating in regards to the mistakes they made, but we learn nothing if we don't screw up...and we wouldn't be the people we are now if we didn't go through the hard times. But...as much as you may try to make good out of a bad situation, there are times when we wish we could freeze time and live in that moment where we were happy...and there's nothing wrong with visiting the past to enjoy those moments once more...but to hope that things will always be the same, or hold resentment that things cannot stay the same will just wind up making you batshit crazy.

Live in the now! Embrace your future...and enjoy the happy moments of yesteryear, but do your best to make good memories now instead of living in the past.

People can be so strange.

Granted I'm a bit of an odd duck from what others have told me. I've been told I'm weird or a dork or too kind...and that I should strive to be something I'm not in order for things to be easier.

Why do so many feel that if you do not fit the norm, that you should strive to fit in like the rest? Ok I understand that we all have room to improve, but I refuse to change my morals/opinions of things based on the fact that other people deem me strange for sticking to my guns on things that I think matter.

I do, however, think that there are people who should strive for success and stop bitching about how unfair things are. Life IS unfair, and until you accept that, you will continue to be miserable. That's not to say that people do not have the right to complain...we all need to vent, it's unhealthy to store it all in...but to constantly dwell on what cannot be changed is just a waste of time in the long run. Life can be a struggle, but it's so gratifying when, no matter what comes your way, you take it with a grain of salt and continue on and make the appropriate changes in order for you to be happy. But to change completely just to please someone else is foolish...just focus on what makes you happy and be considerate of others and happiness will soon follow.

Ah...they grow so fast.

I can't believe my baby is almost 4 months! Eep! C'mon lil one, can't you stay little for a little while longer??

*sighs*

I look at my girls and I am in awe at how much they've grown/how their personalities have developed. It's astounding sometimes. Although I do enjoy the baby stages with all of them, watching my baby get big so quickly is both extremely gratifying and saddening, because I see how quickly my girls have grown and become their own person and I know that soon the relationship between my lil man and I will change...and he won't want to cuddle as much, he'll want to run and roar and be hyper and will probably only come to me when he needs a boo boo kissed lol.

If only we could freeze time for a moment eh? Sadly we cannot, so that's why I do my hardest to enjoy every moment with my children, be there for them, nuture them and pay attention to them...because, sure, I may not have a lot of alone time now, but soon they'll all be living their own life away from me and I'll have all the alone time I want....by then, I won't want it.

And the lil one wants me, so awaaaay I go!

This time of year...

Is always financially stressful.

We just celebrated Christmas and my youngest daughter's bday a month before that, and now it's my eldest daughter's birthday on the first of Feb.

So now we're pinching pennies and trying to stretch our dollars as far as they will go. Most people who have kids have their birthdays spaced out, but my kids birthdays as well as Christmas are so close together that we are always hurting around this time of year.

Not looking for sympathy, just needed to release some of the stress I have bottled up.