GOOSEFRAAABAAAAHHH....

If you've seen the movie Anger Management, you'd understand my title.

Btw, that really DOES help make you feel better when yer stressed...I tend to chant it quite a bit these days :/.

It seems like we've been dealing with incompetence for a good long while now. The work on the house that was only supposed to last two days...has been stretched out quite a bit. The washroom is done, THANKFULLY...but our kitchen needs more work, and until they put in a damn sink in the kitchen or in the backroom like they promised they would *I don't think they're going to do it though >:C * we have to go do laundry at the laundry mat, which is rather pricey.

SO FRICKEN TIRED OF THIS!!! I want my house back... I want to go and put all the shit that was originally in the washroom and kitchen back to where it was instead of it being everywhere...the workers even messed up my girls' room and ours and we can't clean it until all the work is done D:<

Sorry...just needed to vent, badly.

In happier news, we've almost got all of our halloween accessories bought...it's going to be hard to work on everyone's makeup including my own while having to meet the demands of the baby, but I will do my best...it's not easy being in demand by everyone :/

GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSSSSSSSSSSSSSEFRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAABBBBBBBBBAAAAAAAAAAAAAA...dammit.

Hmm...I've got that yearnin' again...

And no, I'm not yearnin' to misbehave....not yet anyway :P

I am wanting to get back into the ol' swing of things and start my dietary changes/exercise regime back in gear. Really...really...badly.

Granted I have had many a shocked face/compliment given my way when my buddies got to see me recently, which I was thankful for...and my bf compliments me often, which, again, I AM thankful for...

...but when I look in the mirror I usually grimace...and no, I don't magically evolve into the big purple cretin at McDonalds.

My hips are no longer curvy, they're squarish...and don't even get me started on my tummy pooch, gah.

My bf reassures me it will be easy to lose the weight considering how quickly I lost it before...but now my free time is almost a thing of the past, so although I have the drive to do it, finding the time to is going to be difficult.

But...with my youngest daughter coming to me telling me she wants to lose weight...I need to be a positive inspiration and not down my own figure infront of her, hence why I write my frustrations here and have encouraged her to start with me once the newest addition to our household turns a month old.

So I'm thinking about starting a dietary/exercise blog...had one EONS ago but I don't even know if that's still around...kind of wish it was though, I could look through it and remind myself NOT to be negative...or at least, do my best NOT to be negative continously or around my girls...sometimes it's hard being a good role model :/

I have asked my bf to help me get my quest started after next week by taking starting pics...now all I need to do is find measuring tape and take my *gulp* measurements...oh lawdeh lawdeh lawdeh @__@;

Here's hoping I still have the drive to be as dedicated to my lifestyle changes as I was before I got pregnant! *crosses fingers*

Um...so now what? D:

Gotta love stress.


.... O___O

I hope my sarcasm was obvious, otherwise I need to try fucking harder eh @__@;

Firstly...the plumbing staff that were hired by our landlord...have been making frequent visits the past week or so, to find out what they need to bring/measure things and what not...have let us know that it may take up to FOUR days for everything to be finished, considering they're going to remodel our washroom from scratch *new tub, new sink, new tiles, all that jazz* as well as give us a brand new countertop/sink/cupboard space downstairs as WELL as fix the moldy patches *that are currently sealed off* that reside in our living room ceiling due to the problems from the pipes both upstairs in the other apartment and from our shotty ass pipes coming from our washroom waaaaay upstairs.

Four days.

Geezus. u___u;

Oh oh and people who said they wanted a kitten beforehand, are now slowly letting us know that they cannot have one for whatever reason. No disrespect to them, for they have their reasons etc etc...but...FAWWWWWWWWWWK....now what?? We are having a hell of a time trying to find a place for all of us to stay, nevermind getting a place for...let's count now *1 bird...3 cats...4 kittens...2 rabbits...and one dog* 11 animals?!?! Granted the rabbits/dog/2 cats belong to my mother, but she and my step father are being just as inconvienced as we are since we ALL have to vacate the house.

$&@!%20@# *#*(%&*(#%&!!!! #(%$&@!%20@#*#*(%&*!?!?!! (#%&#(%&@##*(@#!!!!!!!

*pant pant puff puff wheeeeeze* >:U

Oh...and it gets better, cause there are not a lot of hotels that allow animals and the one that is the cheapest is 100 bucks per night...and 25 bucks per animal.

How...in the fuck...are we...going to be able to afford this?? I'll tell you how...our landlord, who decided to ignore our pleas for getting this fixed earlier on in the year...is going to have to pay for our accomodations...or feel my hormonal fucking wrath.

*Grumbles* Mind...PLEASE SHADDUP u__u;

I'm having a self critical kind of day today.

Heaven knows why. I just feel grumpy :S

Guess I have a case of the blahs o__o

I find myself sighing when I gaze upon myself in the mirror. I am irritated/frustrated with my appearance. I know I shouldn't be...but I gaze upon my bloated midsection and sigh quite a bit these days...I'm ashamed at how vain I am .///.; I'm thankful my bf compliments me and makes sure to remind me that I'm beautiful just the way I am...but I just feel unappealing...and having to wait things out for the first while before my body starts to slowly go back to what it once was...is hella frustrating.

I know it took a 3 months shy of a year to create my new little bundle of joy, so as much as I could slim down quicker, I'm gonna have to deal with the fact that it's going to be awhile before I get back down to normal. I guess with my impending part in my bro's little sister's wedding reception, I am a tad anxious...I want to look decent by her wedding date so I can wear her choice of dress elegantly, not bloated and frumpy .__.;.

Ah well.

So many things to do...

It never ends, does it .___.

Constant cleaning up this or that or the other...organizing this, tidying up that...and that's just household cleaning, nevermind the list of things I still need to do! Oy! >__<;

I sometimes wish I had the ability to make a clone of myself just so I can get everything done...my goldfish memory is a constant bother, so unless I write it done, guarenteed I am going to forget it u__u;

That's not to say I don't get help...I do, but there are things that I must get done by myself...someone got an extra cattle prod? Anyone?

If it wasn't for the occasional cup of coffee, I swear I'd be walking around like I was part of the living dead @w@;

*yawns and stretches*

I have no concept of time. The hours tend to blur together when you're sleep deprived @w@; The only way I am aware of the time right now is the handle time feature in the bottom righthand corner of the monitor screen lol.

I've been battling my hormones the past few days...I find that I can't help myself...I'm SO sensitive...my bf is taking it in stride and being VERY understanding, bless his heart...he knows I am a prisoner to my own emotions and will be for a good while...he just reassures me and gives me love and praise and help whenever I need it, which is often these days lol

Now logically I know I can't do a lot atm...but that doesn't stop me from being frustrated by it. I have been told by everyone that I NEED to sleep when the baby sleeps, but I also have 2 other children to tend to...granted they are quite self sufficient, I do not want them to feel that their needs aren't as important as the babies' needs. Thankfully they are VERY understanding and due to me explaining everything and the situation that we're dealing with due to the baby being demanding of my time, they don't get resentful...bless their hearts. My bf and I are doing our best to remind them how thankful we are for all of their help and that we still want to engage with them when it comes to school and how they're feeling and how they're handling the significant changes that have taken place...I never want them to think that they are less important...and by the both of us working together as a united team to ensure they feel loved contiously, I think they know we value their pressence in our lives :D

*sighs* I think I just need to be kinder to myself...and accept the things I may not want to accept...because although I am frustrated, I realize that my son is going to be small only for a little while...and soon he will be as independant as my daughters...so I may as well enjoy the fact that I am needed <3

Our newest addition :'3

Our lil pat of buttah, he just melts when he's snuggled up to you :'D

He was born on September 16th at 3:06 am....12 hour labour...thank gawd for our nurse Evelyn, because if it hadn't been for her manually helping him come out, I probably would have had a C-Section >___<; She was a wonderful nurse, so much in fact we took her name Evelyn and turned it into Evan and put it as one of his middle names, bless her kindness to not only me but my bf, I will never forget her :'D.
He's so precious...and a loveable lil guy, very mellow in disposition and cuddly...hardly cries, loves to look around...and just down right adorable.

My daughters were gorgeous lil angels when they were born, and my son is equally as beautiful...I am truly blessed to have such lovely children :'D

My boyfriend has been the ever doting dad, helping me out tremendously and is delighted with our lil bundle of joy :3

My daughters are ever so sweet to their lil brother...and have been amazing throughout my whole pregnancy and have continued to be helpful and kind, without them I would indeed be lost. They are two of the most loving/kind/gentle/intelligent/helpful angels I could ever ask for <3 <3 <3 ^0^
 And now...for the pictures! ^__^

 My girls and I, waitin' for the lil one to arrive

He has arrived! And I am a tired ol' mommy but he was worth the effort

Proud Poppa awwwww :3

My eldest holding her lil brother

At last she gets to be a big sister too!

Mommy and daddy and our wee-est one

I feel truly blessed...I couldn't ask for more <3